Writing an obituary for someone you love is one of the most significant aspects of funeral planning. It offers details about upcoming services and serves as a heartfelt tribute to the joy and impact they brought to our lives.
To write a meaningful obit for a loved one, start by announcing the death, sharing a brief biography of the deceased, listing surviving family members, providing information about their community service or volunteering acts, and adding special messages or quotes when ending it.
5 Tips to Write a Great Obituary
An obituary can be divided into five sections as follows:
1. Announcing the Death
The start of an obituary is a notification to inform the community that your loved one has died. It must include identifying information like the individual’s name, age, residence, and location of time and death.
When announcing the death, the words can be phrased in many ways. “Passed away,” “ended a long struggle with…”, “died,” and “surrounded by loved ones” are popular and acceptable phrases to use.
Ensure to use verbiage that you feel comfortable with. Some people might say that “died” is too harsh or abrupt. Others find euphemisms such as “went to be with his Lord” too soft or tiptoeing around the situation. Regardless, pay attention to feedback from others and use the verbiage you are most comfortable with.
2. The Biography
The biographical portion is the most detailed and personal part of the obituary. This section is where you will summarize the deceased’s life. But you don’t have to include all minor aspects of their life. Use this section to emphasize significant events, traits, achievements, contributions, and connections they had during their lifetime.
Always remember that an obituary is written to honor important life achievements and milestones. The deceased might have achieved a long list of awards and honors. Other than the family, most individuals will not be particularly eager to read about every honor or award they received. Be selective, instead, and try to include as many as possible in a few words.
The biographical part always states the date and place of birth, the names of the parent(s) and the mother’s maiden name (e.g., John and JoAnne (Maiden name) Smith), the marriage date and location, the spouse’s birth name, education, occupation, and military service.
Most obituaries fail to mention the personal relationships the deceased had. Sometimes, they outline someone’s accomplishments but say little about how they affected their family, friends, or community. If they always had time to play video games with their children or their sense of humor can brighten a situation, be sure to put those positive aspects into words.
3. List Family Members
It is always necessary to include the surviving members of the family in announcing someone’s passing. They are the ones whose names others can use to give condolences and assist in comforting them when they say goodbye. When listing the survivors by closest relation, the order should be as follows: spouse, children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, parents, and siblings.
It is worth mentioning that nieces, nephews, cousins, and in-laws are generally not mentioned unless they were particularly close to the deceased. Grandchildren and great-grandchildren are also generally counted (“…she leaves behind four grandchildren”) rather than mentioning each individual’s name.
When naming a relative, ensure that you give their first name, their spouse’s first name in parenthesis, and their last name. It should be like this: “Jane leaves behind her children, David (Sarah) Smith and Julie (Michael) Smith.”
When the deceased’s spouse has a different last name from the relative, add their last name in parenthesis, too. You may also include any immediate family members who passed before the deceased. The format should be the same as the one given above.
4. Service Information
This section should provide clear details about the service, including the location, date, and time of the visitation, funeral, burial, and/or memorial service. It should cover where the visitation, funeral, burial, and/or memorial service will be and any corresponding dates and times. Include the funeral home’s name; indicate this if the services are private.
If you have a memorial service with personal touches, you can request that loved ones bring pictures and keepsakes to be displayed in this area.
5. Special Messages
A brief message or prayer is customary to conclude the obituary and express special thanks. Whether for charity, a memorial fund at their alma mater, or a fund to assist in paying for the funeral, make sure to list the name, address, and/or website of the organization involved so people can readily make donations.
If the family would like donations or monetary contributions instead of flowers, add a line such as “In lieu of flowers,” “Please donate to the XYZ Association,” or “Contributions are suggested to the family.”
Conclusion
Obituary writing is an important way of paying tribute to a loved one’s life and telling their story to family members, friends, and the community. Every element contributes to making a lasting tribute, from letting everyone know the news of their death to bringing out personal triumphs and information about service arrangements, listing family members, and writing a biography. Families searching through Oklahoma obits can seek inspiration by writing a well-thought-out message stating their loved one’s legacy sincerely and with genuine care.
